Procrastination works hand in hand with addiction. You’ll always do the hard thing tomorrow; you always do the easy thing today. But there are multiple layers to that basic equation. For example, each time you choose the easy path, whether it’s viewing online porn, or overeating, or skipping a workout, or whatever, it makes you feel better in the short run, say for a few minutes, but overall your self-esteem is chipped just a little further away. Over time, your self-esteem is severely impacted, and in many ways achieving simple goals can become more and more difficult.

First, you need to look at yourself and make a list of things you want to change. These are “bad” things you want to stop or minimize, as well as “good” things you know you’d like to do. Let’s just say you’d like to would like to control or eliminate your online pornography habit, start working out, make more money, and either do more dating or improve your existing relationship. That’s the list of things you want to change, which in essence become your Goals. For some, like “make more money,” you’ll likely have a few subtasks you’ll need to itemize, and these are smaller goals you’ll need to tackle before accomplishing the overall goal.

Divide your list into positive and negative activities. For example, excessive online masturbation is a negative activity, and working out is a positive activity. Your next step is to take your list of goals and make a loose Action Plan. You can memorize it or write it down, whatever works for you. But essentially it works like this: you want to work out instead of waste time with online porn. Your Goal will be to switch these two activities, slowly, over time, so that instead of wasting two hours with online porn, perhaps you work out for 45 minutes and then have an hour to do another positive goal on your list.

But in order to transform the weakness that builds day by day with any addiction like online porn abuse, you need to start slow and be prepared to fail many times. There are no (or very few) cold turkey transformations. This is why so many New Year’s resolutions fail by mid January. A key thing most people ignore at their peril is to remove existing barriers to success. Sometimes the list of barriers can be lengthy. But, let’s say you live in an isolated small town, but your goal is to get a job that pays $20,000 more than you currently make. One of the things holding you back is that, for your particular job, you would need to move to a major city before you could make the extra $20,000. One of the basic barriers then becomes moving to a major city, which of course has a long list of things you need to overcome and accomplish just to set yourself up to get a job that makes the extra money.

Eliminating variables that stand in your way is a critical step. Don’t underestimate it. Start slow. Build your confidence. Ignore failures and keep pushing ahead. As you slowly minimize the “bad” things and increase the “good” things in your life, you build confidence. As your confidence builds, you leverage that confidence against weak moments that arise from time to time, and, as you can imagine, the strength that comes with confidence starts to trump your porn addiction more times than not. It will just lose its appeal to you, because you will be doing more exciting and interesting things in your life.

Most men and a lot of woman these days masturbate for sexual pleasure. These days there is a lot less taboos against masturbation. However, how many books have you seen lately about sex compared to any books about masturbation? And how often have you talked to your friends about masturbation?

Most teens tend to masturbate every day. Generally, they take 5 minutes or so and use high friction strokes. Most teenagers have some embarrassment about masturbation. They do not want their parents to find out about his aspect of their sexuality.

So they make no sounds of pleasure and hide the activity away. Usually there is some fantasy involved and very little connection to their emotions and heart. Unfortunately, the teen gets in a habitual habit of having an orgasm quickly.

I personally know all of the above because it is my own experience too.

Now, when the teen makes love for the first time, he continues the habits he has taught his body over hundreds of masturbation sessions. He comes in a few minutes, he had closed eyes, he uses high friction porn style of lovemaking and he makes no sounds at all. Unfortunately these habits persist as he gets older.

Sex survey after Survey shows that the average time of intercourse for men is about 7 minutes. The funny thing is that this figure is pretty much the same in every country surveyed form the USA, India to France.

Unfortunately, most women hate this style of lovemaking. I attended a Tantra workshop the other day and 20 women were asked to describe what type of lovemaking they enjoyed the most and 18 out of 20 described a style of slow, connected and deep.

Compare that style of lovemaking to the usual porn. Clearly, if a man comes in 7 minutes, most women are gong to feel unsatisfied. A boring, short sex life is one of the main reasons women have affairs.

As a sexologist, I talk to men about their sex life. One thing I like to ask is do they like their lovers to make sounds of pleasure and express the orgasmic energy by their voice. Just about every one says they love their lovers to be vocal and hate silent women as lovers.

I then ask them if they make sounds. If they do not, I say, why the F not and why they want something from their lover that they do not do themselves.

Usually, this early masturbation practice taught them not to make sounds and they continued this practice to date. It can be a real challenge to break this pattern.

Another aspect that can be difficult for men to relearn is about emotional connection. Women love a man that connects with his eyes and they can feel his heart and love.

Now, most of us do not masturbate in front of a mirror with thoughts of self love. However, this practice could be of value. How about masturbating with an attitude of loving oneself instead of a porn type fantasy?

Another thing that women love is that a man is present. This means that the man is not in his head in a fantasy or being goal focused. Most women are very sensitive and can pick up on this straight away. So being present really just means being in your body, its pleasure and energy. When men do this, the women can feel the man more and this allows them to let go more.

Tantra looks at partner connection and being totally open. These skills can take time to learn as we are taught to be closed emotionally.

I hope you enjoyed these tips on how masturbation can transform your sex life.

Maurice Tate is a qualified sexologist trained at the Advanced Institute of Sexology. See Sexuality Tips and Tantra Online Course Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Maurice_Tate

In life, it’s the small things that make you or break you. As the economy gets more and more competitive, and as the stakes get ever higher, all the time you spend online searching for pornography is taking away from time that you could be making more money, making more contacts, and better positioning yourself to compete and win in the workplace.

The first thing any serious winning competitor will tell you is that hard work got them to wherever they are today, whether they be athletes or business people. And hard work means scraping and fighting for every inch of territory that you gain in life. Those small increments are critical to success – or failure if you ignore them. One of the small increments is online porn addiction. It weakens your ability to compete on several levels:

Here are some key ways your life is impacted by online porn abuse:

• First, the time spent hunting for pornography impacts your ability to use that time in more productive ways. This is time you could be putting into making money, increasing your business, securing your position in a company, expanding your professional skills, teaching, or whatever it is you do for a living.
• Second, using online pornography is a negative pull on your self esteem. You not only feel guilty about the time you waste, but also about how you’ve evaded people in your life and/or things you should have been doing instead.
• Third, your ability to socialize, over time, becomes more and more fragile, because you’re always working to hide how much time you’re wasting with online porn. You’re ashamed of how, slowly but surely, you’ve begun to prefer online pornography to real human interaction.
• Fourth, the time you spend online, time spent away from improving yourself, opens up doors for all of your competitors, whether they be competing with you in business or for a person you find attractive. Either way, you’re more likely to lose – just because of the time and effort you spend with online porn, looking at pixels on a screen.

Masturbation addiction is an act where a person masturbates compulsively. This addiction is so overwhelming that a person can’t stay without it and in a large way is the base or paves the way for other forms of sexual addiction. Masturbation addiction may begin when viewing pornography or simply when people conjure vivid mental images and arouse themselves at the drop of a hat.

This addiction leads to other addictions and can lead to having sex with prostitutes, having multiple affairs and other conventionally accepted sexual activities. Some researchers refer masturbation as process addiction; it’s referred to substances like drugs or alcohol. Masturbation addiction brings on a high feeling that is caused due to release of chemicals in the brain. The main reason for masturbation is these signals are sent to the brain during orgasm rather than a source. Due to these chemicals the mind becomes so stubborn that it starts searching sources to comfort it.

Some people may feel that masturbation is safe and harmless as it is for sex. But masturbation brings problems emotionally, physically and spiritually. Due to this addiction you come to a climax much quicker, which ultimately leaves your wife or partner unsatisfied. This brings on a mental tension between partners. Masturbation is natural, but is a selfish act. As a person is getting the sexual desires from his or own, a person does not need to find a external source for it. You might be thinking how can masturbation harm you spiritually. In the Holy bible under Matthew 5:28 the following is stated “But I tell you that anyone that looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery in his heart.” Lustful thoughts clearly indicate masturbation, which falls under falseness as a sinful act.

There are many ways by which you can overcome masturbation addiction. The simplest way is to tell your wife or partner. Seek help when you know it’s a problem. Do not hide behind it and use it as a tool at every opportunity you get.

It’s very important to have a balanced diet or a nutritional diet according to the food pyramid. The diet will make you feel healthy and give a physical energy that will keep you active. This in itself is a feel good factor and you will begin to experience the positive vibes around you rather than resort to the addiction to find the good feeling.

Another recommended technique to overcome masturbation addiction is hypnosis. This deals with the parts of your brain that control and run the signals of pleasure and excitement. If you are willing to overcome masturbation addiction its high time to do so before the self-satisfactory tool hurts you emotionally as well as physically. Masturbation at all times can land you in serious embarrassing situations that can hurt your loved ones. So seek help. Talk to someone and get yourself professional help. Doctors and psychiatrists are experienced in dealing with your addiction, so give yourself the best chance and look forward to a clean and healthy life.

They say that it’s natural’ Nearly everyone does it’ It’s completely normal’

These statements could well be true; however, what if you become addicted to masturbation and what if it affects your friendships, relationships or even your confidence. If you have let masturbation take over and you have become addicted to it, then you will really understand just how negative the situation can be for you. Masturbation addiction is no laughing matter, especially if you have fallen victim to it. The sufferer can be a slave to their sometimes, compulsive masturbation habit. If you feel that you are addicted to masturbation and you are serious about overcoming it and taking control, read on’

The technique of masturbation is as old as the hills. It is said to be a completely natural habit, however when it gets out of control, then it can be a really un-natural habit to have. Masturbation addiction is one of the most personal of all additions to have and something that you may well find really hard speaking to other people about. The addiction can leave you feeling drained and tired, due to compulsive masturbation and can even give you an empty feeling and a low self-esteem. Some studies have shown that it can even add to premature ejaculation in men and sexual desensitisation in women. This type of negative impact on anyone’s sex life is bad news.

In order to beat this unwelcome addiction it is important to tackle it at the source. The source being your sub-conscious mind! The sub-conscious mind is an excellent piece of machinery that controls all of your unconscious motions, movements, thoughts and beliefs. It is the part of you, that makes you ‘ YOU! Your sub-conscious mind also creates and drives habits ‘ habits like masturbation addiction.

Parents today have about 22 less hours per week to spend with their kids than did parents in 1969. Competing interests like work, childcare, and other responsibilities compete for our time, and the more time spent away from our kids, the more likely they are to struggle in life. Of course, we all want our children to succeed, and we understand that the more we work with them, the better they’ll do. Yet, often, we let an hour here or an hour there slip by for things that we really shouldn’t be doing in the first place. While I don’t put “masturbation” in this category, I do put excessive online porn addiction and the growing guilt-ridden drive to stop masturbating into this category. When you stop masturbating as part of an uncontrollable online porn addiction, then you not only build up your own self-esteem and the pride of your family, but you also strengthen your family by spending more time with them.

Here’s what happens to most people. They know they should be doing something, perhaps helping their child with homework or just doing something constructive with them, or with their spouse, or even with a member of their extended family such as a mom or dad. But, instead, they see a window of opportunity that same day, when they know the house will be empty, to get online and access pornography for an hour or two. So access porn instead of taking care of chores, or work, or paying bills, and then when their child comes home from school, they find that they “don’t have time” to spend with that child, because they have wasted one or two hours already that day, masturbating in front of the computer. Who suffers? First and foremost, the child suffers from lost time with the parent. Secondly, the parent suffers, as they find that life seemingly gets harder and harder. But life isn’t getting harder and harder, they are simply not coping with life in a constructive way. They are escaping from life more and more through masturbation and pornography, and doing that day to day instead of keeping up with family, money, friends, and work – the things that help us all succeed in life. By focusing instead on an erosive addiction, they are limited their chances of survival in this complex world, but even more sadly, they are jeopardizing the success of their children.

Do you find yourself in this category? Do you find yourself, perhaps a few times or more a week, sliding something you should be doing aside to grab a window of opportunity to view porn online? This seemingly harmless activity adds up to major chunks of lost time and a major impact on your self-esteem as person, parent, and spouse. Think of it – if you spend an average of 5 hours a week online digging up porn, you are essentially throwing away nearly 11 FULL DAYS of your life a year, masturbating online. That comes to 6.5 work weeks each year, just tossing that time out the window – time you could be working either for an employer or for your own household, and thus making more personal time for yourself. When you look at it like this, you can see clearly that the time wasted impacts your family directly.

Just as important, you are hurting yourself, working against yourself, 11 days a year, actively eroding your self-esteem a few hours at a time, and this erosion of confidence and self further impacts your ability to compete, function, and spend quality time with those that love you. Because the worse you feel, the more you turn to self-abusive activities like masturbation, smoking, drinking, eating, etc.

One of the best ways to start to get a handle on the situation is to keep a tally of the time you spend masturbating to online porn each week. Do something as simple as writing the number of hours spent on each day of a calendar, then adding up the hours weekly for six or more weeks to get a good weekly average that you can then multiply into a yearly sum. Then ask yourself what you could and should be doing in your life that you’re not doing now. Ask yourself what risks you are increasing with online porn addiction, from computer viruses, to getting caught, to risking your job by using a work computer, to just the simple wasted time amplifying your ability to juggle your life’s responsibilities. You will quickly see that any time you can move from the self-destructive practice of online porn addiction to more constructive activities will improve your life. The more time you move, the better your life will be. And then, of course, the better the lives of your children will be.

About the Author:

James Blackburn is the founder of Blackburn LTD, which is dedicated to helping people control their addiction to online pornography through steps that Mr. Blackburn has been using for decades to help people redirect their lives. His tips have been packaged into an informative book called Channel Your Drive, downloadable in PDF format to keep the final cost to readers low and affordable to all.

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