Procrastination works hand in hand with addiction. You’ll always do the hard thing tomorrow; you always do the easy thing today. But there are multiple layers to that basic equation. For example, each time you choose the easy path, whether it’s viewing online porn, or overeating, or skipping a workout, or whatever, it makes you feel better in the short run, say for a few minutes, but overall your self-esteem is chipped just a little further away. Over time, your self-esteem is severely impacted, and in many ways achieving simple goals can become more and more difficult.

First, you need to look at yourself and make a list of things you want to change. These are “bad” things you want to stop or minimize, as well as “good” things you know you’d like to do. Let’s just say you’d like to would like to control or eliminate your online pornography habit, start working out, make more money, and either do more dating or improve your existing relationship. That’s the list of things you want to change, which in essence become your Goals. For some, like “make more money,” you’ll likely have a few subtasks you’ll need to itemize, and these are smaller goals you’ll need to tackle before accomplishing the overall goal.

Divide your list into positive and negative activities. For example, excessive online masturbation is a negative activity, and working out is a positive activity. Your next step is to take your list of goals and make a loose Action Plan. You can memorize it or write it down, whatever works for you. But essentially it works like this: you want to work out instead of waste time with online porn. Your Goal will be to switch these two activities, slowly, over time, so that instead of wasting two hours with online porn, perhaps you work out for 45 minutes and then have an hour to do another positive goal on your list.

But in order to transform the weakness that builds day by day with any addiction like online porn abuse, you need to start slow and be prepared to fail many times. There are no (or very few) cold turkey transformations. This is why so many New Year’s resolutions fail by mid January. A key thing most people ignore at their peril is to remove existing barriers to success. Sometimes the list of barriers can be lengthy. But, let’s say you live in an isolated small town, but your goal is to get a job that pays $20,000 more than you currently make. One of the things holding you back is that, for your particular job, you would need to move to a major city before you could make the extra $20,000. One of the basic barriers then becomes moving to a major city, which of course has a long list of things you need to overcome and accomplish just to set yourself up to get a job that makes the extra money.

Eliminating variables that stand in your way is a critical step. Don’t underestimate it. Start slow. Build your confidence. Ignore failures and keep pushing ahead. As you slowly minimize the “bad” things and increase the “good” things in your life, you build confidence. As your confidence builds, you leverage that confidence against weak moments that arise from time to time, and, as you can imagine, the strength that comes with confidence starts to trump your porn addiction more times than not. It will just lose its appeal to you, because you will be doing more exciting and interesting things in your life.

Many authors and readers of this website have mild or severe masturbation and porn addictions. It is tough to control (we know), it has been likened to the fight against tobacco and cocaine addiction.

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